With Apologies to Teenaged Girls Everywhere.

There’s a pop song that is hot right now, and the kids seem to like it; it gets plenty of air time, teenagers sing it badly in the hallways a school, all the usual hallmarks of an instant classic.

The song is called “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” by One Direction.  It has a catchy hook, and doesn’t throw a lot of big words or fancy imagery at you to make you feel confused.  You know it’s a love song, and you know it’s about a guy singing to a girl in praise of her beauty.

The problem is that it’s about a sexual predator plotting to go after a young woman with emotional problems.

You see, the gist of the song is that there is a beautiful girl who does not realize how truly beautiful she is.  The singer of the song can see her beauty, and desires her for it.  But that’s not the sick part.

Let’s start with her beauty.  To be clear, this song is not saying, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks, you are beautiful to me.”  No, this girl, we are told at length, is objectively pretty.

And don’t give me that “everyone’s view of pretty is different” crap.  Sure there are always weirdoes out there (“I don’t think Jessica Alba is pretty, also chocolate tastes yucky and I never liked the Beatles.”) but they are statistical anomalies on the freak ends of the bell curve.  The fact is, there is an accepted standard of beauty today, and there are women and men who simply fit that pattern and are beautiful, end of story. 

This girl is one of those people.  The song’s chorus mentions that everyone else in the room can see it except for her.  The writer wants us to know that this is not some obsessive or romantic who sees only through the eyes of love, this girl is hot.  She lights up the room when she enters, solely by her attractiveness.  The singer simply recognizes that hotness, marking him as normal.

So the girl is hot, how do we know she does not know that fact?  Her behavior is described for us: she looks at the ground, she flips her hair frequently (because she’s looking down all the time and it’s hanging in her face,) she wears no makeup, and just generally does not carry herself with the haughty air of a girl who realizes and owns her attractiveness.

In other words, she displays signs of low self-esteem and self doubt at best, depression and symptoms of sexual abuse at worst.

And this guy is totally gonna hit that.

Remember, this is a girl who is objectively hot.  She’s not self-conscious about her oddly shaped nose, or hiding a disfiguring scar, she is pretty.  That surely didn't happen over night, so she’s had plenty of time for people to tell her how pretty she is all her life.  Why doesn't she see it too?

Because she is broken.  Something is causing her not only to not see her beauty, but to actively reject it.  She doesn't even wear makeup out, because why would she bother?

What could have caused such a low self-image?  Well clinical depression is one possibility.  With apologies to Tom Cruise and his beliefs, a chemical imbalance in the brain could cause depressive feelings and behavior.  This could be a mentally ill girl who needs treatment; either counseling, medication, or a combination of both.

But a chemical cause is far less likely than abuse.  Whether it was physical or mental abuse from a parent, or systematic abuse from peers, a lifetime of derision and insults could have caused her to believe the worst about herself.  Such a girl could easily internalize the mockery and decide she can never be attractive.

But the worst possibility is sexual abuse.  Whether it was long term, perhaps as a child, or a recent violent assault, her behavior fits the warning signs for such abuse, and her coyness might not be cute, but rather a desperate attempt to avoid another such attack.

No matter what caused this, this girl is not a happy, healthy individual, and needs someone to offer help.  Whether it is extensive therapy or just a good friend who can help restore her confidence, someone needs to take her hand in friendship.

But instead she gets this guy.

He is not planning to help her, he is not looking to find out more about her as a person, he just sees a vulnerable hot girl.  He even specifies how he “wants her desperately,” because of how she looks.

You know what he doesn't mention?  Her lovely singing voice, how she loves Louisa May Alcott novels, the discussions they've shared about their favorite Hitchcock films, or anything at all that does not pertain to a) her beauty, or b) her obliviousness to that fact.

What does that suggest to you as the basis of a relationship here?  It’s perfectly natural for a man to be attracted to a girl because of her looks, but what about all the other guys in the room?  You know, the ones who can also see the beauty to which she is so oblivious?  None of them are making a move on her.  Why could that be?

Because they all see the damage too, but they are not big enough douchebags to want to try and capitalize on that.

And what will this relationship be like?  You have a damaged girl and a guy who only wants her beauty.  The best case scenario is that this guy sleeps with her, puts the notch on his bedpost and never calls her again.

But the other likely option?  He cleans her up, shows her off, and trains her to be the perfect trophy girlfriend.  That will never last by the way, this guy is far too much of a narcissistic vampire to be expected to develop a healthy respect for her over time.  No, he’ll take an insecure girl, turn her into a shallow whore for his own entertainment, and then abandon her, crashing her back down to an even lower state than when she began.

Any way you slice it, you have a guy about to swoop down on a girl with practically nonexistent self esteem simply to gratify his own selfish desires.

I’m sorry ladies, but One Direction are date rapists.