Sunday, February 3, 2013

Pride, Pot, & Guns


Pride is a funny thing.

We hear all the time how pride is a good thing, and yet we are also reminded of the sin of pride, and its attendant dangers.  The dual meanings can be confusing, so to avoid such linguistic quagmires, for the following discussion, let us refer to the dangerous form of pride as hubris.

I am not going to be talking about hubris.   Hubris will have to wait for another sermo- I mean post.

I'm here to talk about pride as a positive thing.  The kind of pride that allows a man (or woman I guess, I've never been one,) hold his (or her...you know what?  I'm not going to keep doing this crap.  I'm just going to use male terms and pronouns, and you can equalize it yourself, okay?) head up high.

I think we can all agree that pride in ourselves and our accomplishments is one of the most positive and uplifting feelings we can feel, and helps us feel confident, secure, and that our lives have purpose, meaning and value.

There are many things to be proud of, but sometimes I feel we misapply our pride, taking credit for other people's accomplishments and gaining pride vicariously through them, or being proud of something that really is no accomplishment at all.  And that tends to dilute pride, and  create hollow effigies of greatness.  Or even adequacy.

To begin, let's talk about sports.

If you support a sports team, that is great.  Professional sports is a great way to feel a part of a larger group, and to put aside your own troubles and find catharsis in the triumphs and failures of athletes with whom you identify.  In this, it is no different from people who follow a story, be it a series of books, a particular comic, or (most prevalent these days,) a TV series.

When your team loses, it is perfectly natural to feel a loss, just as when fans of a long-running story grieve when a favorite character dies ("not Kakashi-sensei, NOOOO!")  And when that team wins a victory, it is likewise as natural for the fans to celebrate that victory as well, just as when fans of a series exult in the successes of their beloved characters ("YES!  You tell 'em Commander Sheridan!")

Being proud of your team is great, but don't mistake it for personal pride.  When you crow too loudly about how superior you yourself are because your team won, it's not just a matter arrogance, it's delusion.  If you identify too much with the team, and invest your ego in their victory, taking it for your own, what will happen when they lose?

This often starts this cycle of obnoxious posturing on a winning streak, and petulant, sulky justification during losses, claiming the victories and externalizing the losses.  It brings to mind the old expression, "victory has many fathers, but defeat is an orphan."

But I'm above all that, because I don't follow sports.

Which brings me to my next point.  Right now, as I type this, the Super Bowl is going on (I can hear my neighbors screaming, so things must be happening of note.)  This year it is the Baltimore Ravens vs.  I think the 49ers, but I'm not sure.

Should I be proud of myself for not knowing that?

It's a popular thing on Facebook and in conversation to brag about what you don't know, usually about topics that you consider beneath you.  No in many cases, there is some justification in being happy about not knowing some things, ("where to by heroin in this town? I'm sure I don't know" or "I'm happy to say that I can't direct you to the shadiest bail bondsman around here.")  But lately it seems as if the simple act of ignorance, especially of other people's interests, makes you better.

I'm as guilty as anyone.  I loudly (and proudly) proclaim that I've never watched any of those atrocious reality shows, like Honey Boo Boo or the one about keeping up with Star Trek aliens.  But is this something I should be proud of?  The only way that makes sense is if I feel I am superior for not doing something, that lesser people have given in to doing.  Like watching and enjoying reality TV is something that only the strong can avoid, and others simply failed their Will save against the temptation of crappy programming.

I've certainly been on the other end of this phenomenon.  When I've corrected someone about a comic character they were talking about, they explain with pride that they don't read such things (only watch the movies they make about them and incorrectly cite them.)  Sometimes, I just want to unleash full sarcasm mode on them and say:

"Oh my God!  You were able to stay away from reading comics?  Please tell me your secret!  For years, I had to struggle with being actively involved in engaging stories, trapped by characters I cared about, and experiencing their trials and triumphs!  It's been Hell!  Please tell me how you escaped this torment.  Was it a pill?  A shot?  Watching Honey Boo Boo until your brains gelatinized to such a state that you could no longer follow a coherent narrative?"

But I don't, because I'm not that guy anymore.  And because then one day I'd have to hear it from a football fan.

And then there's drugs.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I do not do drugs, and I do not drink.  At all.  Ever.  I don't get high, and I've never actually been drunk.  I just have no interest in it.  Does that make me better than people who do?  Well maybe, but that's for another day.

But the point I want to make here is specifically about pot.  People smoke pot.  LOTS of people do it.  You don't need to feel ashamed if you do, but here's the important thing:

YOU ALSO SHOULD NOT FEEL PROUD OF IT!

Smoking pot does not make you a badass just because it's illegal.  proudly proclaiming that you smoke it tells everyone that you are completely immature.  If someone asks you about it, feel free to be honest, but if no one asks you, keep it to yourself, okay?

Please don't feel the need to make references in my class and then giggle, or to insist on miming it in every performance you do.  And most importantly, don't incorporate it into your fashion choices.  Pot leaf T-shirts, pot leaf bracelets, pot leaf patterned ties, and especially those charming, fake diamond-encrusted pot leaf necklaces.  We get it, you enjoy cannabis.  Woo.

I mean, is that really the single most important thing about you?  That's fucking sad, man.  There is nothing else about you as a person you wish to express other than you happen to intake a particular substance, perhaps on a regular basis?

What about all the other substances?  Should cigarette smokers wear a gold pack of Marlboros around their necks?  I don't see a lot of kids wearing T-shirts with a taco on it (presumably set against the colors of the Mexican flag, in the way that Jamaica's colors have become universally linked with weed.)  And what about tattooing yourself with stylized oxygen molecules?  People would see how hard you really were when you proudly proclaim your support for breathing ("check out that dude, he must breathe like every day!  I wanna party with him!"

I drink more iced tea than anyone I know.  I go through a pitcher a day, drinking it first thing in the morning, and right before bed.  I almost named my daughter Camellia, after the tea plant.  But I don't need to prove I'm a part of 'tea culture.'  I don't go around bragging "You KNOW I brew dat leaf, yo!"

Even if it is illegal, it's just a plant, guy.  If the only way to get it was to harvest it yourself from the scrotum of an angry grizzly bear, then you would be absolutely justified in wearing your pot leaf necklace with pride.  But you bought it off of that weird kid down the street in a ziploc bag, so maybe a little less bragging, okay chief?

And finally, guns.  Oh boy, here we go.

I am very proud to be an American.  I am part of a nation, a culture, a civilization that I feel is the greatest in the world.  You are free to have a differing opinion, but that is mine.  I am proud to belong to this nation, and I am proud of its greatness, even as I acknowledge its flaws.  I am proud of my family's contributions to the nation's history, and of the flag that is its symbol.

I am especially proud to live under a government that does not condone tyranny, and does not prevent its citizens from arming themselves and keeping weapons.  I do not own any myself, but it is my belief that since the government has NEVER made a sweeping attempt to prevent its citizens from owning guns (other than a few exceptions like machine guns and other military hardware,) shows that the state acknowledges that the power belongs to the people, and it has no fear of armed citizens revolting, because they do not need to.  When the people wish the government to change, it will do so, and no blood need ever be shed.  Damn right I'm proud to live in such an enlightened nation.

But some people (not all, calm down,) are not proud of their rights to own guns, they are proud to own guns.  This does not sit well with me.  I was not raised to believe that simply owning a gun makes you a better person.  From this perspective, why would you be proud of your gun?  Its just a tool, right?  I mean, according to all those bumper stickers, it doesn't even kill people (people do that, but you can't own them anymore, so maybe some of these people are just settling for what they can get.)

If you want to own guns, fine.  I'm proud to live in a country that allows you to, and allows me to publicly discuss it.  But don't go on about it, turning your firearms into a pot leaf necklace.  You went to a store and bought that gun.  It is legal to do so, and it is going to stay that way for a long while, no matter what the conspiracy theorists tell you (again, with some possible exceptions.)

So be proud of your marksmanship trophies.  Be proud of your mounted buck heads.  Hell, be proud of your rare collector's pieces (when I win the lottery I am buying a centerfire LeMat revolver from 1869,) but don't be proud of yourself because you own a gun.  That's a dangerous kind of pride.

That's hubris.  And that's for another post, remember?


Edit:  Seriously though, please don't watch reality TV.  That shit is terrible for you, and I actually kind of do feel better than people who do.  Sorry.

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