Today the Supreme Court killed DOMA, the divisive "Defense of Marriage Act." For many of you out there, there is a great deal of celebration. While there are still many challenges, and indeed it is only specific parts of the act that have been ruled unconstitutional, many see this as an important symbolic victory, even if only because of its name.
But it is the symbolic nature of the bill's name that gives me pause. Politicians and interest groups select names for bills in an attempt to identify the legislation's goals for the people, to let them know what the bill stands for.
Now certainly, there are instances where these names are merely a cynical ploy to make it politically awkward to oppose the bill. I don't think many people feel that the PATRIOT act was driven solely by patriotism, and everyone knows that the infamous 2006 Mom & Apple Pie Act was little more than a thinly veiled tax cut for land mine manufacturers, but both used their names to help shield themselves from overt attack.
But I don't think that this is the case here. I honestly think that the people who put this act together, and especially those who rallied behind it, truly believed in its message, as stated right in the title. To such folk, this was NOT a civil rights issue, it was an issue of values, standards, morals and principles. To them, they were not excluding individuals from basic human rights, they were preserving perhaps the most sacred institution ever put into practice by mankind (every religion and culture has some form of it, and its biological basis cannot be overlooked.)
This act was their way of preserving what is good and just in our nation, and protecting it from attack and injury by those who simply did not accept the unshakable truth of it, and sought to erode the great institution, harming it irreparably for all time.
And they lost.
Wow. That's gotta sting a bit, huh? I mean, this was not some good old fashioned "Let's keep the coloreds out of proper eating establishments and stores" (the good old days, am I right?) Or even a grudging compromise like "Okay, okay, they can count as three fifths of a human, but we get to round down." No this was supposed to be a slam dunk of virtue and purity. The means by which something priceless and irreplaceable would be shielded from the moral decay and degradation that has corrupted so much of what was once great in this nation.
It was the DEFENSE OF GOSH-DARNED MARRIAGE, for cripes' sake! How the heck could someone not agree with defending marriage? It's just common sense, common decency.
But nonetheless, its been cast down, killed before it could truly do the good it was meant to do. And that is so sad for the people who believed in it. So while you may not agree with them, heck, you may be genuinely angry at them for having such opposing viewpoints, you must consider their feelings right now, and pity them.
Their marriages are no longer defended.
The ramparts are crumbled, the walls breached, the drawbridge down. At any moment, someone could just come in and take their marriage away. Without DOMA, how will people maintain the sanctity of their marriage? If people of the same gender can marry, then marriage as an institution has been weakened. What will become of those already married?
If marriage is no longer a sacred vow (how can it be now?) then people will begin to do the unthinkable; they may cheat on their spouses. Without the sanctity in marriage, it becomes a hollow thing based only on words and pieces of paper. What is to stop a man or a woman from sleeping with another person who is not their spouse?
My God, can you imagine what this would do to our society? If people start cheating, how long before our morally bankrupt culture begins to shamelessly depict these acts, glorifying infidelity? Already, some of our more unscrupulous film makers have begun doing just that, with tawdry films popping up in our theaters lately like "Indecent Proposal," "Same Time Next Year," and the innocuously titled "The Graduate." These films will make people believe that they have free license to cheat. And are they even wrong?
And don't get me started on the smut factory that is our music industry. They are just champing at the bit to start talking about the joys of cheating with new hit songs like "I Heard It Through the Grapevine," "Sail Away (the Pina Colada Song,)" "Say My Name," and that most blasphemously titled, "If Loving You is Wrong, I don't Want to be Right." These filthmongers won't just talk about cheating, they will portray it all in a positive light. What will happen when that trend catches on?
Even worse, it could become a part of our society. We could start to see businesses begin to capitalize on it, with hotels renting rooms by the day, cellphone companies offering privacy services to keep spouses from checking phone records, hell, some people may even create whole websites devoted to helping cheating spouses cover their tracks.
All of this may happen, simply because the Supreme Court chose NOT to defend marriage.
And what about the young people who are not yet married? What kind of institution are we leaving for them? Without sanctity in marriage, we could start to see young people getting married frivolously, simply running off before they are truly ready for a lifelong commitment. Others will be in such a rush to get married, that they don't take enough time to get to know their partner, and then when it all comes crashing down, descend into the evils of divorce, which we all agree is a terrible thing that has never improved anyone's life.
Worst of all, we might start to see people abandon marriage itself. Can you imagine what would happen to our society if people had the right to simply live together, maybe even have children, without the framework of a sacred vow? I honestly can't comprehend what that freedom would do. If people knew they had the legal right to just live with another person like that, would anyone ever bother to get married in the future? I highly doubt that.
So I hope that today, amidst all your crowing about 'civil rights,' and 'basic human dignity' and such nonsense, you will give a thought to those whose marriages have been torn asunder by this 'victory.'
As for myself, I used to enjoy being married. But now that it's no longer defended, I just don't know how much longer I can choose to remain in a stable, loving relationship built on love, mutual interests and understanding, and a desire to make a better life for our children.
I may have to start smoking crack now.
I hope you are happy.
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