On the Subject of (ahem) YOLO

For those of you too old to know the term 'YOLO,' it is an acronym for "you only live once," and it is generally used as an excuse for doing something ill-advised, by pointing out that there may not be too many chances to do this particular stupid thing.

Now for all the geezers my age who are sick of this phrase, keep in mind that if you are that old AND you are one of my friends, then I am 100% certain you used the phrase 'carpe diem' at least once in your teenaged years.

And before you crack on these kids today being too dumb for Latin...actually you're right, no argument there, let's move on to my main point.

Now, stupid kids, please listen up. While the sentiment expressed in this noxious neologism is entirely accurate, I would put forth the suggestion that your interpretation of this message is entirely flawed.

To be clear; YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! That's it, no more chances, no extra lives, no ten-second countdown to hit 'continue.' Once your time is over, you exit stage left, and there will be no final curtain call. You are mortal.

This realization, the same that drove Gilgamesh on his quest to learn the secrets of immortality from ancient Utanpishtim, seems to give your generation the drive to do stupid shit and yell this as if it gives some degree of validity to your asinine behavior.

The thing is (as the aforementioned Mesopotamian demigod learns in the end,) that mortality is not meant to drive you to be impulsive, but to use a level head and develop prudence in action.

Whereas 'YOLO!' might make you feel you need to say what you really feel to your boss, kiss that girl you've always had a crush on, or finally settle that argument with your brother about whether or not you could, in fact, use the golf umbrella to parachute off the top of the third floor balcony, the results not only might not be pleasant (fired, arrested, paraplegic,) but they may last the rest of your life (which might get considerably shorter as a direct result.)

In the end of the story, Gilgamesh (SPOILER ALERT!) does not gain the immortality he seeks, and indeed loses what little he does gain in a really stupid way.  But he learns a valuable lesson, and in the end his true immortality is in the great works he creates and the deeds he performs, which are immortalized for future generations.

As Urshanabi brought Gilgamesh to Utanapishtim across the lake of death to find wisdom, allow me to likewise try and ferry you across the shores of dangerous experience in order to give you the wisdom that may help you.  Instead of thinking "I can only live once, I must try inhaling/ingesting/sleeping with this new experience," try thinking "I can only live once; maybe I don't want to spend large portions of that time high/vomiting/covered in weeping sores."

Please take the time to think of future you, whose life is in your (Cheeto dust-covered) hands right now. Treat it well, and use it wisely.

You only live once, after all.