And In Return, I Won't Come To Your Church and Teach Macbeth

Now, I’m not trying to offend anyone here, but I’d like to discuss religion in schools.

See?  Now I’ve offended people.

A great many people I know like to forward these sappy, snarky, grainy (why are they always grainy?) inspirational posters talking about how our problems today are a result of taking God out of schools.

The ones I get are all Christian, because most of the religiously minded people I know are Christians, although I shouldn’t be surprised to find that similar complaints are made regarding other faiths.

Now I’m not going to enter into any kind of debate on the merits of religion itself, and whether or not you feel that it actually does solve problems, or if it causes more.  Likewise I’m not going to extol the virtues of different faiths, or different denominations of any one faith.

My aim here is simply to discuss the premise that God (or free practice of any religion) has been expelled from public schools.

Usually, this issue boils down to the concept of ‘School Prayer.’  And the thing is, this is in large part a generational thing.  Older folks may remember having prayer in public schools, or have been raised by people who do, and grew up hearing about how great that was.

But before we go any further, we need to clarify what ‘School Prayer’ means.  This was not, “hey let’s allow people to express their religion as they see fit,” the prayer was mandatory.  It did not matter what your religion was, you were forced to pray along with the prayer that the school chose for you.

Now many of you reading this may be thinking “what’s the harm in that?  It’s a prayer for God’s sake, how can anyone object to that?  You are free to think something different while you pray along, it’s just a harmless expression of divine love, and surely no one can be offended by that?”  And if you do feel that way, that’s perfectly reasonable.

I’m guessing you’re a Protestant.

Because that is the tyranny of the majority, when the minority’s opinions and values are trampled by the dominant (usually numerically superior, but not always) group’s opinions and values.

Before you start your angry reply, understand that I’m not speaking ill of majority rule.   Logic dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.   However, no matter how much you like to run naked down the middle of your street covered in dog feces, your neighbors will most likely call the authorities who will come and explain that there are some freedoms that need to be curtailed in the interests of the common good.

This is also why you are allowed to own guns, but not allowed to shoot them off while sitting on the front porch of your suburban home (because where the bullets land affects the more crucial rights of others not to have holes in themselves or their property.)

But religion is a deeply personal thing.  Sharing fellowship with the rest of your religious community is great, but it should never come at the expense of a person’s right to their religion.  If you have a town comprised of 100% Methodists, then saying the Lord’s Prayer every morning might not seem out of line.

However, we live in an increasingly diverse world.  Asking someone to pray to a God they do not worship (or in a manner inconsistent with their conscience,) is an offensive intrusion into a person’s private faith.  And even if a single one of those hypothetical Methodists (from the First Hypothetical Methodist Church,) chooses not to pray in that particular way, should the others force him to do this deeply personal ritual in their chosen manner?

As I type this, I am sitting near an older colleague with whom I had this exact discussion several years ago.  This individual is deeply religious (Protestant) and I adore her as a person.  She was lamenting the loss of prayer in school like she had growing up.

I asked her if she would feel comfortable with her kids being asked to recite a Catholic prayer.  She was a little uncomfortable with the idea, but decided she could get behind that idea, since her kids would still be praying to Christ, and she would know that she had taught her kids Protestant values and they would know what was right.

So then I asked her if she would be okay if the school chose to have them recite an Islamic prayer.  Would she be okay if the sentiment was the same (God is great, avoid temptation, love each other and follow His commandments,) but if they referred to Him as Allah?  And that Mohammed is His prophet?

We are still friends, but we have not had that discussion since then.  I just want to get that out of the way first.

She stated that of course she would not be okay with that at all.  If the school tried to have her kids pray to a different god, she would feel the need to talk to the principal immediately.  Even if the principal explained that the message was no different, and that the students were not being radicalized or asked to join a new church, it was merely a prayer in the morning, she still would not be okay with it.

And I think she is right.  She has every right not to have her children forced to pray along with something in which she does not believe.

But I think the rest of us have that right as well.   I don’t want a school to tell my children how to pray.  That’s my job.  And even if the school followed the ‘correct’ religion now, what happens when the demographic changes?  If I move to Dearborn, MI (largest Muslim percentage in America) do my kids have to kneel on prayer rugs?

And as a teacher, should I have to pray in a way inconsistent with my beliefs?  Worse, do I then have to lead students in that prayer?  And must I punish them for not participating, or disrupting?  Will I be issued a torch and capirote, or will I have to bring them in from home?

No, I think the whole idea of forced prayer in school is a relic of the past, and we are all better off without it.

But does that mean that religion is banned from school?  Of course not.  It simply means that while we can force children to adhere to a dress code, and force them to learn math and read the Scarlet Letter, we cannot force them to worship in any way.

But students are free to practice their religion whenever they wish (with some notable exceptions I will mention below.)

There simply is nothing in the school rules that forbids the exercise of religion.  A student is free to pray at any time, barring being disruptive in class (much in the same way they ask you to leave church if you whip out an accordion and start playing Frank Yankovic’s greatest hits.)

You can pray in the classroom, pray in the halls, pray in the cafeteria, or before a sporting event.  If a group of students wants to sit together in the cafeteria and hold a prayer meeting over lunch, there is nothing stopping them.

And while it is true that there are some restrictions that interfere with an individual’s ability to fully express his or her religion, with dress codes that may prohibit covering the head or face, or not allowing students to take out a prayer rug, face Mecca and pray several times a day on Friday, or have the cafeteria prepare food in accordance with strict religious laws, none of those things affect Protestants, so it’s not really worth mentioning, is it?

Many schools, such as my own, have religious clubs that meet on campus.  These are often nondenominational or interfaith groups that operate with official sanction of the school.   They use public space for religious purposes because it is a club.  As long as no student is ever forced to attend, there is rarely any sort of problem.

As a teacher, I am allowed to talk about my religious beliefs.   However, I am not allowed to proselytize, force my students to pray, or discriminate against those who do not practice the same religion as me.

But then, as a person, I don’t do any of those things because that would make me an asshole.

Just like your children, your religion and your god (or gods,) are welcome in school.   It’s just that, like your children, we expect your religion to sit down, get along with others, not pick fights, and respect the rights of others as the learning process is under way.

And if I catch any of your gods chewing gum I swear to mine you will be in detention so fast it will make your holy radiance spin.  Are we clear?