“Please sit down and relax.
I’m going to hook up these electrodes, so I need you to remain still.”
“This isn’t going to shock me or anything, is it?”
“No. Please keep still.”
“I’ve never taken a lie detector test before.”
“It’s actually called a polygraph. It measures stress by detecting changes in
skin temperature and other factors. By
studying these factors we can detect mental stress, which might indicate a
subject is lying.”
“Oh. So what if I’m
stressed about other things? How will it
know the difference?”
“That’s why we start by establishing a baseline.”
“A bass line? Like a
background track?”
“No. Not like the
musical term. I mean a sort of basic
level of stress so that we can compare it to any changes that might occur when
we ask questions you might try to evade.”
“How do you establish the baseline?”
“We start by asking a few questions; basic, everyday
stuff. This gives us some readings that
we can-“
“What sort of questions?”
“How about we just begin, shall we?”
“Oh, okay.”
“Very well. What day
is it today?”
“Friday.”
“What color is your
hair?”
“Red.”
“Have you ever been arrested?”
“Yes. Three times.”
“What is your current
age?”
“48.”
“Are you married?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever killed anyone?”
“No.”
“Were you born in America?”
“No.”
“What is your occupation?”
“Musician. Singer, I
guess. Although I was retired for a
while and-”
“Is your middle name Paul?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, we have enough readings for a baseline.”
“What does that mean?”
“That means we can begin asking you the actual questions.”
“Oh, er- okay then.”
“Let us begin, Mr. Astley.
First question: Are you ever going
to give me up?”
“No.”
“Are you ever going to let me down?”
“No.”
“Excellent. Let’s
continue…”
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