What The Next Superman Reboot Movie Needs Less Of:

*Note:  This post was begun some time ago, before the announcement of the pending Superman/Batman film.

The two biggest drags on any Superman film are, in order: Superman and Clark Kent.

Now let me start by saying I am not one of those Superhaters, who feel the character is out of step with the modern world, and devoid of any value to today's comic readers and moviegoers.  And there sure is a whole lot of hate out there for the big blue boy scout.

For the record, I love Superman, and believe that he is still a culturally relevant character, with plenty of stories left to tell.  I feel any writer worth his or her salt can take the character and tell compelling, interesting stories that can resonate with audiences today, just as Siegel and Shuster's original stories did back in 1938.

However…

While new writers come on board the various Superman comics all the time, each bringing a new take on the classic character, they don't then retell his origin story.  Beyond the several reboots the company has done over the years, new writers simply pick up where others have left off, maintaining the basic story: infant Kal El is sent to Earth to save him from the destruction of his home world, Krypton.  Once here, the energy of our yellow sun gives him powers above and beyond those of mortal men, blah blah, locomotive, blah blah, speeding bullet, blah blah blah, mild-mannered reporter, lather, rinse, repeat.  We all know the story, so comic writers don't feel the need to retell it each new story.

Why then do filmmakers?

It is a certainty that films and comics are different media, and each requires a different approach.  But this is Superman for Christ's sake!  Surely every corner of the globe has heard his story by now?  Every new Superman movie has to go over this same material; retread old ground in the hopes of finding some new aspect that will make it worth watching the same origin story over again.

The most recent one tried to expand upon the story of Jor El and doomed Krypton, fleshing out that part of the story over what seemed like half the movie.  And to what effect?  By dividing up so much time between the two El men, the film dragged, giving us a film that was one part bland dystopian sci fi, one part mawkish Bill Bixby-era Incredible Hulk pastiche, with a splash of destruction porn in lieu of the supervillain-fighting action that people want to see.

You know, a Superman movie.

In comics, you have decades of stories on which to draw and build, and thousands of characters with which to interact.  In a film, you have two to three hours tops, so you need to tell a compelling story, and tell it fast.  Audiences want characters worth identifying with, and they don't want to have to sit through half the film before they meet the actual hero.  Luke was shown to be a whiny little bitch in the first twenty minutes of Star Wars, but once his aunt and uncle get flash fried, he mans up quick and makes with the stormtrooper-blasting, princess-saving, chasm-swinging and Death Star-exploding action without further delay (or whining.)

Movie Supermen these days seem unable to do that for some reason.  We spend so much time on him getting to Earth, then more time with him discovering his powers, then some angst over accepting his destiny, some soul-searching, etc.  And when does he get to fight the villain?  Will there even be a villain who is both interesting and a credible threat to a man of steel?

Perhaps the problem for film makers is that the character is hard to identify with in films.  I mean, if Superman is bulletproof and brimming with power, what can threaten him?  The comics have tons of top tier threats to ruin Supes' day, from ultra-powerful androids, nihilistic alien overlords and 5th dimensional imps to megalomaniacal super geniuses in kryptonite-powered battle suits.

But filmmakers seem loath to go for such "over-the-top" action, since audiences clearly do not want to see such goofy, comic book style cartoonish action.  That's why "The Avengers" bombed so badly at the box office, remember?

So instead, we get a man of steel in our own, 'realistic' world, wherein he is unidentifiable to audiences because he is a god amongst us mortals.  So many go the other way, focusing on Clark Kent as the main identity.  Obviously audiences can identify more with him, as a man raised by humans, dealing with human trials and temptations.

But that guy is boring.  Again, stripped of all those years of continuity, Clark Kent is just not all that interesting in a two-hour film.

Filmmakers have to balance the tale of Jor and Lara El sending their child to Earth, Ma and Pa Kent finding him and training him, Clark joining the world and making tough choices, and then find some time to make a suitable villain and get in some good punching action, which doesn't arrive until the end of the film.  It's a tough job.

So how do we fix it?

I thought about some story ideas, from beginning in media res with battles against robots and such, with the story told in flashback, to simply ignoring the backstory entirely (which would be a great way to do a Justice League film; just ditch backstories and getting right to the formation of the league.)

These would all be great for fans of comic book action, but would be a poor draw for 'serious' filmmakers who want to do a serious study of the character.  And then I hit upon the ultimate idea for a Superman movie.  A truly engaging film, that makes an audience really ask new questions about characters they thought they knew.  One that was completely faithful to the visions of Siegel & Shuster and the other luminaries that have added to the Kryptonian mythos over the years, and yet still remained a compelling tale of humanity.

And all we have to do is take Superman and Clark Kent out of the spotlight.  The next Superman movie should not have either of them as protagonists.

Hear me out: Superman is ridiculously powerful, on that we can all agree.  And that can be a problem, because he's as powerful as a force of nature.  So why not treat him like one?  Keep Superman, the nigh-omnipotent being of mystery, and Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter, in the background.  Focus instead on the two characters inextricably linked with the man of steel's destiny, and with whose experiences audiences can truly identify.

Instead of telling the dual stories of Clark Kent and Kal El, the next Superman film should focus on Lois Lane and Lex Luthor.

Consider this story:

We begin at LexCorp's Aerospace Division, where Lex's latest spaceplane prototype is returning from its maiden voyage.  This is a big deal, and all the media outlets are there.  Lois Lane is there, granted an exclusive interview with the great man himself on this auspicious day.

Lex, we learn, is the paragon of humanity; he is the wealthiest man in the world, and complete owner of the largest multinational corporation in existence.  The source of this success is his genius mind, and unparalleled ability at scientific innovation and invention.  He has developed his body to the peak of human perfection; mastering several martial arts and honing nearly every physical skill.  But in addition, he is a great philanthropist, helping people around the world with donations and the power of his inventions.  In short, he is the superman; the ultimate achievement of mankind, and the envy of all men.  Powerful and beloved worldwide, he seeks to conquer space simply because there is nothing left on Earth from him left to conquer. And of course, he has an absolutely amazing head of hair.

Lois has been granted this interview because of her own excellent reputation for ferreting out the truth, no matter how well hidden.  She is the top investigative journalist in the world, and like Lex, lacks for challenges.  Lex chose her specifically, taking on her probative questions like a challenge, knowing he has nothing to fear.  For Lois's part, she finds the whole situation dreary, and desperately longs for a real mystery to pursue.

But then, tragedy.  The spaceplane begins to wobble on approach; the thousands of spectators who have gathered for the landing are in jeopardy.  Lex springs instantly into action, a grin on his face.  He immediately calls emergency services and begins mobilizing his security forces to evacuate the crowds.  It is apparent that he revels in this opportunity to show how cool he is under pressure.  Lois meanwhile, is at least pleased to have a more interesting angle on the story.

But then, everything changes in an instant; the single inciting incident that alters the lives of both our protagonists.  As the spaceplane is about to plummet towards the ground, a streak of blue and red appears from the sky and saves the aircraft, effortlessly lowering it to the ground safely, and then flying off in a flutter of red cape.  The entire world witnesses this event.

And the story begins.

Or rather, both stories begin.  Our film divides its time between Lex and Lois as they go along their own separate character development arcs.  They both start at that single point (the inciting incident for those keeping track at home,) with the two of them standing, mouths agape at the window of Lex's office, with the reflection of the mystery man flying away on the surface of the glass.

For Lois, this marks the beginning of her obsession with tracking down this mystery man.  He is the ultimate story, and only the greatest reporter ever could hope to uncover the truth.  It s she who coins the term Superman as his 'nom de hero,' and she begins to doggedly pursue him throughout Metropolis.  Trailing behind her is the new cub reporter Clark Kent, who is hired on after Lois begins pursuing Superman, and who sort of surreptitiously tries to steer her away, but she never even looks him in the eye, pouring al her attention onto finding out the identity of Superman (this is called irony.)

Eventually she takes drastic steps and throws herself off the Daily Planet building to force him to save her.  She then uses the rescue to interview him, which he agrees to do if she will stop hounding him everywhere, and showing up at every dangerous event in metropolis in the hopes of cornering him (we see her come close to death several times along the way.)

In this interview, he gives her all the basic info; alien from a dying planet, sent here by his parents raised by kind and loving parents and all that jazz, all while moving around so that she never has a clear view of him (when he is carrying her in his arms, she has the wind in her eyes.)  More importantly, the audience is never given a very clear view of his face, or all of him in any one shot, 'Jaws'-style to maintain the mystery.

He tells her all this and leaves it up to her if she wants to reveal it, warning her that people may not like the truth.  She vehemently defends the people's right to know, and that there can be no peace with secrets, blah blah blah, even though he insists some secrets should stay that way.  After the interview, he asks her to use her media skills to try and find out if anyone died while she was interviewing him and taking him away from patrolling the city.  He flies off leaving her to consider if her obsession with uncovering the truth is actually what is best for Metropolis and the world.

When she publishes her story, revealing his extraterrestrial origins, there is a big backlash against him, with many citizens expressing fear and outrage at his 'duplicity' in looking like regular humans  Even though she continues to report on the great things he selflessly does for the citizens of Metropolis, people continue to post letters about him as an illegal alien and a menace to decent folk.  In one scene she watches Superman return a child to her parents, when someone throws a bottle at his head.

Meanwhile...

Lex's story is a much darker one (and far more interesting.)  Lex becomes a classic tragic hero, and we watch his inevitable descent into madness and ruin (spoiler alert.)  When Superman saves the spaceplane, Lex sees the utter ruination of his entire sense of self.  Lex spent his entire life climbing to the top; he was the absolute paragon of the human race, the top, A number one.  And in a flash of red an blue, he becomes just another mudbound mortal.  He is filled with unholy envy, driving him into a rage. Where Lois wants to expose Superman, Lex wants to destroy him.  He must destroy him, in order to salve his ego with the only balm, supremacy.

So Lex puts all of his personal genius, and all the resources of his vast corporate empire to the sole task of discovering how Superman's powers work, and how to replicate them.  Whatever the man of steel can do, Lex must be able to match it.

We see him combing through every piece of footage available of Superman in action, and working with scientists and inventors to mimic the various powers he exhibits.  We see him hiring mercenaries to stage high profile crimes in order to engage Superman, equipping them with the latest experimental weapons in order to field test them, and collecting all the blood and skin samples for analysis (he figures out the alien thing before Lois breaks the story.

Using this information, he begins to develop his answer to this threat; using enhancement drugs, cybernetic implants and various weapons and gear to create his armored battlesuit, designed to make him the equal (or better) of Superman.  When they are ready to test the suit interface, they point out that his fabulous hair will decrease the efficiency of the electrode leads, but only by a tiny margin, he shaves his head bald, showing us how obsessed he is with absolute perfection.

And all the while, he is working to undermine Superman's public image, planting stories and editorials stressing how dangerous this being could be, and painting him first as a lawless vigilante, and after his origin in made public, a dangerous alien invader.

Finally, after Lex has perfected his suit, and learned all he thinks he needs to defeat Superman, he needs to bring him to the place he has set up as the perfect ambush site.  For that, he needs bait, and since Supes has already shown he will fly to Lois Lane's rescue, he decides to kidnap her.

But Lois meanwhile, has finally broken the biggest story in history, she has discovered Superman's secret identity, that of mild-mannered Clark Kent.  Even after seeing all the harm that her last story did to Superman, she knows that the truth must be made public, because people have a right to know (even if this particular individual and his parents will undoubtedly suffer for it.)  She is typing the story when Lex captures her, and never even realizes the value of what is sitting on her computer screen.

So the big awesome fight happens, and it is both big and awesome, and will not involve destroying half of Metropolis and a death toll in the hundreds of thousands, thank you very much.  But it will be televised, showing the megalomaniac Lex Luthor all 'roided up and in his armored death suit mercilessly pummeling the sinister alien.  Lois (and maybe Jimmy) has the camera going the whole time, and provides a running commentary.  We see the public reactions go from cheering Lex to praying that Superman will get up and win.

And of course he does.

He summons the will to do so when Lex threatens Lois (or perhaps a random citizen caught in the crossfire,) and defeats Lex, stripping the high tech armor from him and leaving him alive, in police custody, before limping off into the night, permanently imprinted a hero in the minds of the people.

Of course Lois does not run the story, and we see her bring some chicken soup to her coworker Clark, who calls in the next morning with 'a really bad case of the flu,' studiously not looking at his hastily covered up bruises, and saying the gesture is nothing, since they all have to look out for one another.

We end with Lex being led into the prison yard (he did kidnap a lady remember,) his awesome battlesuit replaced by orange prison togs.  All the prisoners look up at the new fish brought in, and as he passes, they all nod respectfully, saying "Mr. Luthor."

And one prisoner looks at him and says reassuringly, "Don't worry, Mr. Luthor; you'll get him next time."

And Lex Luthor smiles.

And THAT is how you make a kick-ass Superman movie.  No origin story, no pontification on the nature of responsibility, no dreary dead dad flashbacks, just a good, solid story.

And no fucking Ben Affleck.