Growing up, I knew what the words 'introverted' and 'extroverted' meant, but I never thought about them too much, because they simply weren't that important. They were footnotes to a person's personality, like "sports fan," or "avid reader." They help describe you, they don't define you.
You see, words like those are not meant to be cattle brands, burned into the flesh of the afflicted, permanently labelling them like the mark of Cain, thus forever isolating them from the normal people.
But they're also not meant to be worn as badges, used to proclaim your special uniqueness. They shouldn't separate you from the rest of the humanity like a leper, but they also shouldn't indemnify you from criticism of your actions and choices. They are tendencies. Terms like 'introvert' do not demarcate you as a separate species, requiring special treatment (and special privileges,) above and beyond regular people.
But that's exactly what you've seen, haven't you? On Facebook or...whatever other social networks there are out there, I only ever joined one (I must be an introvert that way,) people are proclaiming their introversion from the rooftops, crowing loudly about how everyone else needs to let them be the quiet shut-ins they were born to be.
We get lists and instructions on how to spot an introvert, how to handle introverts, how to respect their boundaries, what you are not to criticize them for or even mention, and how to keep them stress-free and happy. It seems like the only place to go from here is to sell Introvert Chow (all rights reserved,) perhaps sold alongside 'low social pressure' plates and serving ware, so that these delicate creatures don't suffer any 'functioning human being' cross contamination.
Look, I get that people feel differently about lots of situations, especially social ones. My wife has real difficulties in social situations. Her idea of Hell is a cocktail party, and I am not in any way exaggerating; she would rather face physical injury rather than be taken to a party, and she is only a mild case. There are people with genuine troubles like social anxiety disorders or agoraphobia. These people may seek treatment from medical professionals who will analyze them, diagnose their problems, and prescribe therapy and or medication in order to allow them to live a more fulfilling life by allowing them to participate in human interaction as they desire.
But 'introvert?' That's never been a medical condition. No one has ever needed to be institutionalized for 'acute introversion.' The Army doesn't grant a medical discharge because a soldier 'really doesn't enjoy crowds,' and the only medication for feeling awkward at parties is the same one people have prescribed for centuries: booze (not recommended for everyone. Side effects may include blurry vision, vomiting, and disastrous life choices. consult your designated driver before taking Booze.)
It's almost the opposite of what happened to terms like ADD and OCD. Both of these are recognized conditions that interfere with people's lives (although I realize that there are plenty who believe ADD is over-diagnosed or outright nonexistent, but it does not matter for this point.)
But people use them like they are general terms for personality traits. If someone gets distracted by something interesting (which is what is supposed to happen; that's what defines interesting,) they will laugh and talk about their ADD, as if they'd spent their formative years sent to doctors and doped to the gills on Adderol. Or if someone gets really involved with something (or feels the need to clean or organize something,) they will apologize for their OCD tendencies, even though they've never felt helplessly compelled to walk through the halls of your high school and touch every single locker featuring a number 8.
We ALL get distracted, and we all obsess a little bit. Just like we all experience feelings of depression or paranoia, but we are not actually depressed or paranoid (or bi-polar, which suffers egregious overuse, and is applied to anyone who possesses more than one mood.)
And the same thing is happening to 'introvert,' but in that case, the term was always the kind of thing that we all felt once in a while, but some people felt that way more often, it was simply who they were as a person. Or a beautiful snowflake.
People are calling themselves introverts because they don't usually like to go to parties. But what if you just have shitty friends? How about those who say they are introverted because sometimes they would rather spend a quiet night in. Well who doesn't? If you can't handle a quiet night at home now and again, you may have a social condition on a much different part of the spectrum. My favorites are the people who cite as proof of their introversion the fact that the like to read. Really? Maybe you need to toss a basic Psych textbook onto the old book pile. Or a thesaurus...
Being an introvert isn't an affliction. It doesn't make you a mutant, and it doesn't make you any less able to cope with the outside world than any other personality quirk. And it doesn't entitle you to any special treatment .
You know all those super helpful internet guides on how to treat introverts? Go back and look at them again. Now ask yourself which one of those is NOT appropriate to do for all of your friends and acquaintances. Doing the suggested actions doesn't make you an introvert whisperer, it just makes you not an asshole.
I bet your other friends, both extroverts and whatever the other option is (Neutroverts? Verts? Rational Human Beings?) would also appreciate being shown the same compassion and consideration. And what's more, being non-introverts, they will be able to properly thank you for this consideration.
So come on introverts, both real and bandwagon variety! Come on out and join the big wide world!
Or don't. Your choice.
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