Life isn't fair.
We are not all dealt the same hand at birth, and with each new deal, some of us just get handed better cards; it's simply the luck of the draw. And I for one have been exceedingly lucky in this game, all things considered.
Like most of you reading this, I had the extreme good fortune not to be born with Down syndrome, or any form of mental retardation. I was spared the pain of cystic fibrosis, or juvenile diabetes, or any congenital heart defects. All of my organs functioned as they were supposed to do (with two notable exceptions...#organshaming.) Growing up, I did not require breathing tubes, daily injections, special leg braces (those came much later,) a rigid support to correct a spinal disorder, a helmet to correct a skull defect, or a plastic bubble to prevent me from suffering a fatal allergic reaction. I was able to go outside, run and play with my friends, and never had to schedule my activities around medications or treatments. I never had to have awkward and repetitive conversations with my peers about the unusual medical equipment that was always with me, or to explain why part of me 'looked funny.' I got to swim without plugs in my ears, run without worrying about damaging my bones, and if I got a cut or a scrape, my mom just had to reach for a band-aid, not the telephone.
Likewise, I was lucky enough to be born in the first world. Born in a country of unparalleled freedoms, where no one had to worry thatthe secret police would storm into my home because of the opinions my parents espoused. Or where political unrest meant my street might become a war zone, threatening everyone who lived there with being caught in a deadly crossfire. Or in an area where crime was so rampant that my parents would fear to send me out to play in broad daylight. Nor did I live in an area of crippling poverty, a victim of disintegrating infrastructure. No, I got to live in a functional democracy (I don't care what you cynics try to say, you should check out the rest of the world before you try to discredit our government,) with the freedoms of speech, religion and assembly guaranteed by the Bill of Rights. I lived in a quiet, rural neighborhood within walking distance of close relatives who helped take care of me. The streets were smoothly paved and well-lit at night, teachers, police and firefighters were all just 'people in my neighborhood,' and the water was safe to drink.
Child abuse was something I only heard about from after-school specials on the TV. Like amoebic dysentery outbreaks and bread lines, it was something bad that happened to other kids, far away. My home was not a 'broken' one, and I didn't have a single mom, a deadbeat dad, or an 'or legal guardian.' Brothers and sisters were only available in the basic model, without any adjectival modifiers like half-, step-, or foster-. I never had to lie to a police officer or bill collector on my parents' behalf, or learn to run when a signal was given. I never had to worry about payday, when mommy or daddy would get drunk and beat me. My parents never had to warn me about being alone with any of my aunts or uncles, or to never tell any of my cousins we had just bought a new appliance for fear that they would break in and steal it for drug money. My parents loved me, my siblings loved me, and a whole tribe of family members on both sides loved me, and were always around to support and protect me. When I did something well, I was praised and encouraged, and when I was punished, I always understood what I had done wrong, and knew not to do it again. My parents had jobs, and taught me the value of a hard day's work. I was lucky enough to be born to sober, intelligent people who read to me, made me do my homework, and encouraged me not only to go to college, but helped me pay for it when I got there. They gave me the incomparable gift of language, and I never wanted for food or shelter. And I was blessed enough to be raised by parents who instilled in me the Christian values of compassion, humility (well, they tried with that one at least,) and respect for the rights and dignity of all fellow humans, while still teaching me to keep an open mind about science, truth and rational thought, as well as accepting and respecting the rights of others to believe as they will.
There is nothing more humbling to me than to think of all the advantages that I was graced with, and that others were not. The allotment of these advantages was in no way 'fair.' I would not dream to have such hubris as to believe that all the things I was given at birth, handed to me as it were on a silver platter, were because I deserved them. I no more believe that I was one of God's chosen elect than I would believe that the Norns had woven the skein of my life with golden thread.
It was dumb luck.
Plenty of people are born with much more potent advantages than I and subsequently went on to squander it all in ruinously self-destructive acts of stupidity. While others were born with the merest fraction of the starting benefits I had, but nonetheless went on to perform feats that shame my own paltry catalog of successes and good deeds. To try and find reason in why he got and she didn't is to court madness. To quote the rapper Everlast: "you know where it ends, yo it usually depends on where you start."
I can't compare myself to anyone else, nor my road to theirs. All I can do is keep my eyes on my own, both behind and in front, to better navigate my own route. But it would be folly to ignore all the things that helped me along this road, all the people and events that helped guide me, provided me with directions or a steadying hand, or who flat out carried me over the rough parts. Because as proud as I am of how far I've come, I know I didn't do it all alone. I had plenty of benefits, advantages and blessings along the way. I consider every single one of those factors in my background to be privileges. Because that's what they are: privileges.
So why is it that the only one I'm supposed to acknowledge in public is that I am white?
Anyone who says being born white in America is not an advantage simply doesn't have eyes. Of course being white has helped me, no rational person would disagree that being white eliminates a whole slew of potential pitfalls and obstacles at nearly every turn. White privilege exists.
But to focus on that too much is deleterious in the long run.
Not to me, mind you. Sure dismissing me or my accomplishments simply because I'm white is shitty, but it doesn't really hurt me, per se. I mean, yeah, it's frustrating to have someone look at you and judge you as if they know everything about you and where you came from just because of the way you dress, or the music you listen to, and then write you off as a unique individual because of the color of you skin. But they already have words for doing that to people, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the first guy to experience that from time to time, so I'm not going to whinge about little stuff like that.
But it hurts us all in the long run. Because when you live in a society that has a serious problem with relations between people of different races (which we do,) and when there still exists inequity, injustice, and institutionalized discrimination (it's still a thing, y'all,) then the solution is not to point out the people who have more, it's about bringing everyone else to that level.
None of the great civil rights leaders made names for themselves (and helped bring about great advances for all people,) by taking about all the things that other people had. They talked instead about how we should all be the same people. Civil rights is human rights. and if you keep talking about 'white privilege' instead of 'not yet equally applied to everyone privilege,' all you're doing is denigrating people based on their race, and if that seems like a good plan to you, you may have missed the point.
What I'm saying is this: there isn't supposed to be white privilege. It's supposed to be everyone's privilege. You shouldn't ascribe it to the white folks as if no one else is ever supposed to have it too, any more than you should blame white folks for having it.
I possess white privilege, but I am not my white privilege. I am a man who has been extremely fortunate in this life. I have had so many more advantages than many, and far less than some. And whoever you are, and whether you feel you have had more or less than me, the only way we can possibly get along is if we judge each other by our actions, by what we do, not what we have.
